January 8, 2009
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus ~ Phil 4:6-7
It’s amazing how a scripture passage can do two opposite things at the same time. This passage to me right now both comforts me, filling me with gratitude and joy, and convicts me, filling me with regret and eye-rolling frustration…
What you don’t know is that Marc and I have decided to adopt a child. It’s very exciting and we’re overjoyed at the opportunity. We hope to adopt a baby from South Africa. The baby will be orphaned due to the AIDS crisis there. Once all the information gathering and processing is done, we will travel to South Africa for three weeks where the adoption will be finalized and then will come back home with an infant boy or girl.
We’ve been very quiet about the whole thing because it has been a long and prayerful journey to this point. We’ve been talking about it since May and have been praying and researching and attending workshops and talking with some important people in our lives and are just now beginning the actual process of adoption. The passage that I just read is a wonderful account of how the process to get to this point has been for us. Both Marc and I felt the call to consider adoption at the same time, individually. We began to pray about it together and alone. When things became overwhelming, as we began to research it, which it did many times, we just stepped back from the whole process to pray and wait on God. Finally, in November, we both, at the same time, felt at peace with the decision. It blows my mind (or transcends my understanding) how that happens. We feel wonderful about the decision and are filled with joy and anticipation. “Present your requests to God and the peace of God will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus”…
However…These past two weeks, I have been stressed out of my tree. We have begun the homestudy process and have an incredible list of things that need to be done. Time is of an essence in all of them, because the longer it takes me to complete them, the longer it is before we can adopt. Since Marc is working full time and I am not, I am really the one responsible for completing all of them. Also, I begin work in February so the plan is that all the work for the homestudy be done before then. I am frustrated with bureaucracy, did you know it takes over 100 days minimum to get your fingerprints checked by the RCMP – that’s almost 1/3 of a year! I’m frustrated with people who don’t return phone calls, frustrated with forms that aren’t self-explanatory and even, I was frustrated with Christmas holidays because people weren’t in their office to answer my calls. I feel like I can’t get this stuff done because I’m waiting on other people. Monday night I didn’t sleep because I was stressed about how we will pay for the adoption. Yesterday I burst into tears because the police department doesn’t do fingerprinting in the morning, only in the afternoon, --but I had planned to go in the morning. I have been stressed and definitely lacking peace.
Last night, I had an epiphany. I am a very good big picture Christian. Major decisions like adopting a child, I take time to pray and read and reflect, and I don’t make a decision until I feel peace. Major decisions, I wait on God.
But the passage says: do not be anxious about ANYTHING, but in EVERYTHING present your requests to God.
Last night I closed my file with all the documents that need completing and spent time praying about the documents. I prayed about the RCMP fingerprinting, I prayed about the loans, I prayed about the medical forms and the personality profiles. And then, I put it away, for just a short bit. I’m waiting for a peace that will blow my mind and guard it with my heart so that I don’t go crazy or emotionally breakdown – that’s the kind of peace that’s promised.
If we pray about everything…
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