Precious Moments

Jeremy just woke up. We've had a busy of day of switching off with the kids while we juggled our Sunday responsibilities at church. Marc left the house at 8:00 this morning already to practise in time for the service...I left halfway through supper to make it in time to practise for the evening service only to rush home so that Marc could leave for a youth event that began after the service. We had company after church complete with the dutch Sunday tradition of dessert before lunch -- Rhubarb cake with ice cream, followed by hamburgers, two types of salads and good old ice cream sandwiches. It was a busy day in which we were always hurrying the kids somewhere, or feeding someone or clearing up dishes. I came home from church, Marc had the kids in bed already (bless him), and I sat down with a cup of tea and my book (1000 Awesome Things). I read for an hour and was just getting up to get a drink when I heard Jeremy peeping from his room. I've hardly seen him all day and missed putting him to bed tonight. I quietly dimmed the lights in the living room, sneaked into his room and got him out of bed. His little eyes were still squeezed shut and his little squishy fists were balled up tight as he squirmed slightly and nuzzled my arm. Carrying him into the living room I kissed his little head and nursed him in the dark. Peace and quiet with my little boy sucking softly, sleepily, contentedly. He finished, but I wasn't; I sat in the stillness and held my sweet babe, stroking his impossibly soft skin. Precious.

The end of the sky...

Our journey home was wonderfully unremarkable. We packed on Thursday morning, and since we had brought an entire suitcase of baby clothes to leave at Jeremy's baby house, we had an huge suitcase to put in all of our souvenirs. Packing went quickly and easily and we had lots of room for all of our belongings.

We arrived at Durban's airport well ahead of time, despite the fact that Geraldine our GPS, failed us completely by trying to make us take an extremely hilly and almost impassable dirt road (poor Geraldine had been so faithful this whole trip, to fail us now...) We opted for the six lane highway instead and followed airport signs.

In the airport we bought a few last minute souvenirs, yes, even a Vuvuzela, those super annoying and loud horn like things blown by thousands of fans at soccer games. Marc thought it might come in handy with his youth group!

The flights were long, but not unbearable. Our plane from Durban to Capetown was not full and so we ended up having three seats together. It was nice to have Jeremy on the seat between us instead of having to hold him. It was on this flight that I started adding up the amount of hours we'd be on the plane and the hours we'd be waiting in different airports. Two hours to Capetown, a three hour stopover, eleven hours to Amsterdam, a two hour stopover, and eight hours to Canada -- 26 hours all together. That's when I realized our mistake. We had told our family to pick us up at the airport on Saturday, but 26 hours would have us arrive in Canada on Friday -- some how something went wrong when we calculated the time change. Excited at arriving home a day earlier than expected, but frantic that we wouldn't be able to get a hold of our family, we called our parents from Capetown with our South African cell phone. No problems.

The flight from Capetown to Amsterdam was long, but fortunately, we had the use of a bassinet for Jeremy. He fell asleep during takeoff, and slept almost the entire time on the plane. He woke up near the end and made friends with a cute little 10 month old from Gronigan. She couldn't keep her hands off him. They made a cute pair!

Another cute pair was made in the Amsterdam airport when we ran into my childhood friend Michelle Kooy. She was on her way from Jakarta, Indonesia and was traveling to her parents who live in London and are good friends with my parents. Her eleven month old, who had just endured a sixteen hour plane ride was headed into the eight hour one and without a bassinet!

Jeremy slept again most of the flight to Toronto and we arrived tired, but grateful, in Canada, Jeremy's new country. Sporting our Bafana Bafana shirts, we met my grinning brother, Eric, and drove with him to our parents' home.

And there were our girls!

They came bounding out of the house to meet us with huge grins. "Mommy, Daddy, Mommy Daddy!" It was a joyful reunion. It felt so good to hold those little girls again. I couldn't hug them enough. But, there was more...they were meeting Jeremy!

We pulled his car seat out of the car and the girls saw their little brother in person for the first time. They couldn't stop touching him. Right then and there, in the driveway of 34 Masefield Cr., Sara sat down. "I want to hold Jeremy", she said, arms ready in a circle the way we'd practised at home. So we spent an extra five minutes right there on the driveway so that Sara, and then Leah could hold their little brother. They'd waited long enough, now it was time!

We stayed the night at my parents, enjoying their hospitality while enduring our jet lag. Oma and Opa and brother Eric got lots of chances to hold Jeremy and talk to him. And hundreds of pictures were snapped, literally.

That night Marc, Jeremy and I all slept well. We awoke early on Saturday, after a good sleep and enjoyed a quiet morning with our parents and children. Then, our new family, all five of us, drove to Sarnia, and finally, brought Jeremy HOME!

A Special Day

Yesterday was a very special day. We’ve been hanging out here in Umhlanga, a touristy part of the Durban area, enjoying the beach, our very comfortable bed and breakfast, the Kingston House, and have even gone to Gateway, the largest mall in the Southern Hemisphere. Mostly, we’ve been killing time, waiting for the passport, waiting until it’s time to leave South Africa, but also, waiting, a little excited and a little nervous, to meet Jeremy’s birth mother. Yesterday was that day.

I don’t know if I’ve ever prayed so hard and so often in preparation for such a short time. We had heard from others, that the meetings with birth parents are usually very difficult, very emotional. One woman who we’ve met describes it as the hardest thing she has ever done. We tried to picture how it would go, what we’d say, how would she react to seeing Jeremy. Most of all, we prayed. Our prayer was simple. God be with the birth parents. Help it to be a good and meaningful time, an important part of the healing process for the birth parents, and a time when they are reassured that they’ve made the right choice.

We met at the home of our social worker. Upon our arrival we pulled over to the side of the road, just before the driveway to pray one last time, for God’s presence in the meeting, for strength for the birth parents and for us, for the words to say…

God was present, the words came, and we had a good, meaningful time with Jeremy’s biological mother and his grandparents. They were sweet, good people, happy to see us, and happy to see Jeremy for the first time. We hadn’t realized that Jeremy’s birth mom had never seen him before. We have some beautiful photographs of her holding him, talking to him, and playing with him.

It was a difficult time for Jeremy’s mom. Her eyes filled with tears often, but she’d quietly wipe them away. She is not a talkative woman, a little shy with difficulty expressing herself (who can blame her giving the circumstances), but we feel like just that short time with her allowed us to get to know her a little more.

Jeremy’s grandmother is making a book about their family and about South Africa for him. This gift surprised us and delighted us. What an incredible gift to have such a book to look at when he thinks about and wonders about his first family. The book is not quite complete and so we will have to wait until it arrives in the mail. Hopefully it won’t be too long.

One of the neat things about an open adoption, even one that is separated by such a great distance, is that when we parted, when Jeremy’s birth mom so sweetly and so painfully touched his little arm to say goodbye, it wasn’t last contact. In a few weeks we’ll be sending the first pictures of his time in Canada. Jeremy’s birth mom will see him greeted by his Canadian grandparents and his big sisters. She’ll see pictures of his baptism, camping this summer, his first steps, first days at school. And in return, when Jeremy wonders what his birth mother’s favourite colour is, or whether she likes pineapple on her pizza, or any other question little boys wonder about people, he can ask her. What a healthy and positive way to do adoption.

My heart breaks for Jeremy’s birth parents. I know their hearts are breaking in the most painful way. We expect it to be a very difficult journey for them as they deal with grief which we can’t even imagine. So now we continue to pray, not out of fear and nervousness about a difficult meeting, but for strength and comfort and peace for these two important people who have joined our family as part of Jeremy’s family.

On Safari

Last Friday we decided that since Jeremy was doing so well, we would make one (more) switch to our itinerary. So on Saturday morning we packed up our belongings, threw all of our suitcases into our Honda Jazz, and drove up the coast to St. Lucia, a quiet little vacation town about three hours north of Durban.

The decision to go to St. Lucia was definitely a good one. After settling in at “African Ambiance, our gorgeous B&B, complete with African décor, gorgeous wooden furniture and a grass thatched roof, we took our hosts’ advice and headed to the beach.

Geckos, better than rats I guess!

After a short hike along a boardwalk, on our guard against rogue crocodiles, we found ourselves at the beachfront of the St. Lucia Estuary, a huge wildlife park. The estuary is home to hundreds of different bird life, hippos, crocodiles, sharks, whales, and is the breeding ground of the leather backed turtle. The beach was beautiful and huge, and it took some time to find the shore…

After the beach we went to the local ski and boat club restaurant for drinks and to watch the crocs and hippos play in the river. What a great afternoon! We watched a mamma and baby hippo romping through the water, swimming back and forth across the river. And about five crocodiles were chilling out near the shore. We also saw some beautiful birds who were quite hesitant around the crocs.

The goal of our trip to St. Lucia was simple– safari. On Sunday morning we headed out to Hluhuwe Imfolozi Park and set off on a 6 hour safari drive in search of wildlife. With Jeremy sound asleep in the back, we headed out into the Imfolozi part of the park. We hoped to see animals – lots of them, and we were not disappointed. Around the first turn after entering the park, a giant African Elephant was tramping through the tall grass. We spent the entire day marvelling at creation, worshiping God as we gazed at zebra, warthog, impala, nyala, kudu, and lots of others. We were greeted by a baby giraffe walking with it’s parents and relatives right beside the road. We were road-blocked by a wildebeest, who glared at us as we inched timidly around him. And an enormous rhinoceros sized us up as we passed by him and his mate. Jeremy woke in time for our picnic lunch at the Mpila Camp, and he even rode in the front seat with us for a bit down the road (when in Rome…).

Buffalo

Jeremy and the Giraffes

Momma, Poppa and little baby

White Rhinoceros (or maybe black, who can tell?)

Wildebeest

Drove right beside this one

Impala, they were EVERYWHERE!

Blurry African Elephant (and African grass which stole the focus)

Vervet Monkey (these were all around St. Lucia)

Red Duiker, also in St. Lucia

Nyala

Warthog, she had four babies with her too -- even the babies are ugly!

Beautiful zebra grazing right beside the road

The day was awe inspiring. What an incredible world we live in!

Durban's Waterfront

This past Thursday was a beach day. We drove down to Durban’s waterfront where they have a 6 km promenade along the Indian Ocean shores. It was a gorgeous day, 25 degrees and sunny. The sand was golden, and the ocean blue with a dramatic white crested playground for surfers.

We had a lovely walk on the paved promenade.

Meanwhile...back on the homefront

We have now been away from home for three full weeks. In almost exactly one week, to the hour that I’m writing this, we will hopefully be arriving home. We will be back to our two girls, Sara and Leah, from whom we’ve been away for so long.

Being separated from our daughters has been difficult, but much better than I expected. They have been well cared for by our parents, their Opa and Oma and Grandma and Grandpa, and have been doing all sorts of special things. From riding the bus just for fun, to horseback riding, the beach, picnics by the river, and the splash pad, they have been spoiled in the way that only Grandparents can.

There are several things that we have done to make this time apart easier for all of us. We left a “handbook” for our parents on the girls’ routines, friends, contact numbers etc. just so things will be easier for them. We bought and wrapped a little gift for the girls for every three days while we are away. We gave them little things like a Tim Horton’s card to celebrate Jeremy’s adoption day, a movie and microwave popcorn, smarties and hair ties, and things to keep them busy like modelling clay, paints, and craft supplies. Finally, the best thing that we did to prepare for being apart from our 3 and 6 year old is to set up Skype accounts. Both Opa and Oma and Grandma and Grandpa are set up with a webcam, mic and Skype account, as are we. Every other day or so, usually around 10pm our time, 4pm Canadian time, we go on Skype and talk with our girls. It has been wonderful! They show us crafts that they have made, hairstyles that Grandma has been experimenting on them, news of soccer games, and little events of the day. They have heard about our experiences, and most of all, get to see their little baby brother (although he usually is asleep). Skyping has really been what has kept us going. In fact, the times when separation has been the most difficult has been the times when we are unable to get online. The time in Johannesberg was particularly rough since we had a five day stretch without contact.

Since then, though, for the most part we’ve had regular contact and it’s so great to see Sara and Leah’s happy cheerful faces before we go to bed at night.

We’re on the home stretch. One week to go, and three of those days will be spent travelling. The countdown is on!

With Glowing Hearts...

One of the most stressful things about this South African adoption process is the timing. Leaving our two oldest children in Canada is one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Obviously, this anxious mom doesn't want to be away from them any longer than I absolutely have to. Robyn also has a goal to get us out of this country as soon as possible so that we don't get bogged down with the World Cup. So...under her advice, we booked our flight home for June 10. Exactly three weeks and one day in South Africa. Three weeks to adopt a baby, get his Canadian Citizenship and then his Canadian passport. Robyn warned us...it'll be tight.

Immediately after the adoption, on May 19, we filled out the application for Jeremy's citizenship. Robyn gave us the passport application before we left for the Drakensberg mountains and I had been meaning to get to work on them, but hey...I was on holidays and you can't send them in until you are granted citizenship anyway! Finally, on June 2, when we were back in Durban, I took them out to look at them and began filling them out. There was quite a bit to fill out and a lot that we didn't know the answers too, (Jeremy's weight and length for instance -- they just don't supply hotel rooms with ways to get that information). We decided to go to the mall to take a break and to get some things.

I don't know why I did it. I was not expecting the call at all, but I gathered up all our papers, put them in the laptop bag and took them along with us. At 3:45, just outside the photo shop, our cell phone started ringing. Robyn, our social worker, was calling to tell us the happy news. Jeremy's papers were here. We need to us, our passport paperwork, Jeremy's passport pictures and the required fee to the lawyers office by 4:30!

PANIC!

Remember the timing issue? Remember the anxious mom who doesn't want to stay in South Africa, beautiful as it is, any longer than I absolutely have too? We need to file these papers today! It was great that our citizenship papers were through, that was one step in getting us out of the country, but we still have the passport to go. That takes on average 4-5 days, unless something happens like the printer breaks (which has happened to Robyn in the adoption process two times). If we could get the paperwork together by 4:30, that would give us an extra day.

Providentially, we had brought our paperwork with us. But what about the required fee? Like the obedient tourists we are, we never carried much cash with us, just in case. Almost all of our money stays locked up in our hotel room. We did not have a chance of getting back to our room and then off to the lawyers. It was time to try our BANK CARD.

Getting money is difficult in South Africa. Several Canadians that we had talked to had not had any success in using an ATM, regardless of which bank they tried. We contacted President's Choice Financial before we left and they made it very clear to us that our cards might not work...

They didn't. Not at the first bank. I raced through the mall looking for a second bank...and there it was, NED Bank, and no line up. Hands shaking with sheer adrenaline, my card went in, I selected chequing, 600 Rand and the machine started to whirl...there was my cash...we were ok.

I muttered a quick Hallelujah under my breath and raced back to the car and jumped in. It was now 4:10. But wait...we need petrol...(South African for gas)...no time...we'll chance it. Geraldine, our wonderful GPS, guided us turn by turn through the busy Durban streets, onto highways, off highways, while I did my best to fill in our forms and remind Marc which side of the road to drive on...at every intersection. Finally, we heard those wonderful words, "You have reached your destination" and the clock said 4:30...

We piled out of the car, grabbing the laptop bag, the diaper bag, the papers I was working on, our wallets (OH NO!! WE DON'T HAVE OUR PASSPORTS!) I look at Marc in panic and he is out of breath with the stress of it all. Well, can't do anythingn about it now; we'll see what happens.

Now to find the building. We found a building with the number 225 on it. An Indian restaurant. We decided maybe the lawyer's office was located above the restaurant...We climbed the stairs and rang the bell at the gate at the top. No answer. Now what?

At 4:40, after ten minutes of walking around. Robyn called us again, "Are you guys alright?" she said. Hearing our dilemma, she directed us to the proper building and there we were.

Apologizing for our poor timing, our unfinished paperwork, and our stressed condition, we shook hands with our lawyer and got to work.

"Passport please?" he said. My heart sank. And then, Robyn, bless her heart, said, "I have them here." "What?" I thought, "you have them?" And there she showed the certified photocopies of our passports that we had brought with us from Canada. And that did it.

I have no idea what Robyn wrote down for Jeremy's height and weight. She sized him up and took a guess. I have no idea how long the courier was waiting to bring the Jeremy's passport application to the airport to get on the 6:00 pm flight, but I know it was after 5pm when Robyn put it in his hands.

It wasn't until we had made it through ABSOLUTELY CRAZY Durban rushhour traffic and had sat down in our hotel room that it hit us. Jeremy is a Canadian! I hugged my little guy, placed him on my lap and sang "O Canada" from start to finish, while he stared at me with is amazing Canadian eyes! And my heart was glowing...