For this Child I prayed.

We have a tile in our bedroom on a little stand. It was a gift from a friend when we were expecting Leah. For nine months it sat on my bedside table as I prayed, each night, for the baby growing inside me. It's a picture of a baby sleeping, cradled in gentle hands. The text along the side comes from 1 Samuel 1:27 "For this child I prayed".



I think, because both my pregnancies were "precious pregnancies", in that they were finally achieved through fertility treatments and then were complicated, we really felt the reliance on God for the preservation and growth and development of our children. We can't make miracles, only God can. We covered each growing child in prayer every minute of the pregnancy. And we still cover our children with prayer, knowing full well that God holds them in His hands.

The anticipation for this new baby is the same. Especially because with this child there is absolutely nothing that we can do to ensure this child's safety and positive development. I can't avoid unpasteurized milk products. I can't eat lots of fish to improve his brain development. I can't avoid alcohol or caffeine to help his growth. There is literally nothing I can do except pray to God that he will receive the care he needs and will be protected from everything that could hurt him. And so we pray.

For much of my married life I have felt akin to the Hannah from 1 Samuel. Like me, Hannah was unable to have children. She, with her loving husband Elkanah, longed for a child together, but "the Lord had closed her womb". Like Elkanah and Hannah, Marc and I prayed and prayed and prayed for a child, and like them, finally, the Lord granted us what we asked...twice.

But Hannah is also akin to a birth mother. Despite her desperate longing for a child, her bitter weeping for years on end, when God finally granted her her desire, she brought her child to the temple to live there and to serve the Lord "I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord" (1 Samuel 1:28). She sacrificed her dream for a son so that he could live and serve the Lord.

Right now, a birth mother may be looking at our profile. She is faced with the terrible decision of who to give her child to, the child for whom she prays. She is making the same sacrifice that Hannah did. She is sacrificing herself for the sake of her child. The child that she loves, carried, birthed and prayed for is being given over to another.

Our son is covered doubly over in prayer. He has two Hannah mothers, his birth mother, and me, his adoptive mother. Together, we want what is good for him. Together, we give him over to the Lord.

For this child, we pray.

Something has happened...

Something has happened...I'm getting excited. I've always been excited about the baby part, and have been preparing for that for a long time: Picturing the baby, our first meeting, the orphanage, meeting his birth mom. I've spent a lot of time imagining all that. But now I'm getting excited about the travel. Maybe it's because we've booked our appointments to begin our immunizations for Africa, maybe it's because I've spent more time reading South Africa the Beautiful, but I'm getting really excited about travelling in South Africa.

When Marc and I were in Grand Rapids we spent time in Barnes and Noble and purchased a South African travel book. It gives a little information about the history and the cultures of South Africa and then goes through each region in detail, describing attractions, museums, and tours of each area. I'm reading through the book cover to cover making note of places we'd like to visit. So far, I think we'll have to move there to see all the things I'd like to see.

We're not sure how easy it will be to travel, especially with a baby. We don't know if our baby will be three months or 12 months and the baby's age will definitely impact our ability to travel. But for now, even deciding which region to set as our "base" and some "must sees" is worthwhile.

The problem is, each morning when Leah wakes us up (this morning it was 5:45 a.m.) instead of going back to sleep, I lie awake thinking about international driver's licenses, the feasibility of an in-country flight from Johannesburg to Capetown and whether or not to stay at Kruger National Park. Not because I'm worried, just because I'm excited.

I'm not complaining, about the lack of sleep I mean. I'd say I'll sleep afterwards, once we're home, but then, it'll be something else (or someone else) keeping me awake.

Somehow, I don't think I'll mind that either!

...in his hands

Recently Marc and I had the opportunity to attend the Calvin Symposium for Worship at Calvin College in Grand Rapids, Michigan. It was a weekend away...cherished since we know that once our adoption is completed and we have the baby, we won't be able to get away just the two of us for quite a while, but it was also much more than that. Both of us are heavily involved in worship planning and leading at church and it was a time to be led in worship, to learn about worship, and to participate in worship without having to think about chord changes, choreography, words of welcome or announcements. It was good to be there.

1500 people attend this event from all aspects of worship: Pastors, paid worship coordinators, organists, musicians, dancers, actors, worship leaders, singers. People also attend from all over the world. We were excited to eat one dinner with a pastor from Mozambique and a pastor from South Africa. Of course we discussed, a little nervously, our approaching adoption from South Africa. We had heard that adoption is not very popular in South Africa, and that international adoptions are even less popular. No country wants to lose its children to another country, and we imagine that a black society who has suffered so much from the hands of white people in the past would be wary of white people adopting their children. We shared our story and the pastor encouraged us. I did ask him how well received international adoption was in South Africa and he agreed that there were definitely some negative emotions surrounding it. However, he also explained that despite the heavy heart with which South Africans see their children leave, they are also glad for the opportunities those children will have in life. Opportunities that they never would have if they remained in South Africa.

The multi-cultural aspect of the symposium was very evident in the worship services. We worshiped in French, English, Zulu, Portuguese, Japanese, Korean, Spanish, Lugandan, Swahili, Zulu, Urdu, Ngala, Dutch, Latin. Often the worship leaders who led these languages had those languages as their first language. The symposium also gave all registrants the CD "Global Songs for Worship" by the Choral Scholars. It includes songs from 25 different countries and is beautiful. Interestingly enough, Henry Kingma, a friend from high school with whom I acted and sang many years ago is one of the eight singers in the group. (For more information, contact http://www.thechoralscholars.com/)

There was also an abundance of resource material for worship, for music, and just for life. Of course, in our constant thinking about our future son, we were drawn to some beautiful portraits by Steve Prince of an African mother and her son. We purchased both prints and plan to frame them to hang in our home. For more on Steve Prince and his art, please visit http://www.1fishstudio.com/.

There were also dozens of gorgeous children's books with beautiful illustrations and wonderful stories. We purchased one book for each of our children. For Leah, often described as delightful, or a joy, we bought Karma Wilson's I Will Rejoice, illustrated by Amy June Bates.

It celebrates Psalm 118 "This is the day that the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it!". For Sara, who is beautifully loud and who takes such pleasure in noise, we bought Let's Make a Joyful Noise based on Psalm 100:1 "Make a joyful noise unto the Lord, all ye lands." by the same author and illustrator.

And for our son, who we still have to meet, we bought He's Got the Whole World in His Hands by Kadir Nelson. A beautiful book with a black protagonist, a picture of a trans-racial family, and an incredible message.

He's got the sun, the rain, the moon, the stars, the wind, the clouds, the rivers and mountains, the oceans and seas, you and me, everybody here, everybody there, the WHOLE world, in His hands.

He even has the tiny little baby, our little baby, in his hands, and we are saving this book for that little one, our son, who waits on the other side of this huge world, far from our hands, but always in God's. We are so thankful for God's strong, loving hands.

Zulu cooking!

I have cooked my first traditional Zulu dish! Last week we had a couple of Sarnian families who are also adopting internationally over to share cuisine, and adoption stories. We have gathered informally and formally several times, for coffee, for a barbeque this past summer, and last week at our house.

Last week, the catch was that everyone had to bring an appetizer from the country from which they were adopting. We ate well! We had fried plantains and sausage from St. Vincent, spring rolls from the Philippines, a "football" cake in celebration of the World Cup in South Africa, (someone had a hard time finding a good recipe), and the Pumpkin Fritters which I prepared. Although I forgot to take pictures of the food, I pulled this picture from the net.

Here is the recipe (carrots can be substituted for pumpkins)

2 cups canned pumpkin 1 cup flour
1 large egg 1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt 1 tbsp. sugar
1/4 cup cooking oil for frying
1/4 cup mix of cinnamon and sugar (1/4 cup white sugar with 2 tbsp. cinnamon)

Mix first 6 ingredients in a bowl. Heat half the oil in frying pan. Drop heaping tablespoons of batter into oil once hot. You can flatten them slightly with a spoon.

Fry one side (approx. 4 minutes) and turn over to fry other side. Add fresh oil as needed. Immediately after removing from fry pan, roll in cinnamon and sugar mixture. Makes approximately 12 fritters.

We had a good evening together. It was really great to hear about other people's adoption journeys. To hear about their process, their reactions to the different courses we've all taken, to hear about ideas for becoming more of a trans-racial family, and to simply share with each other the joys and struggles of adoption. We've begun trading books on adoption and are hoping that over the next little while we can grow to be a good support for each other during and after our adoption.

Our gathering this summer was with children at one of the families houses. It was a gorgeous day and everyone had a great time. Our hosts were, Steve and Daphne, with the great backyard!

Leah, practising to be a big sister! She's not sure she's up for it.

Pastor Steve entertained the kids with a bird and lots of games!

Time for a rest!

Christmas gifts

One of the purposes of this blog is to communicate with our family and friends about our adoption process. It is a long and complicated process and we wanted to help our family be a part of it so that they too can already be thinking and dreaming about our baby.

This has had some degree of success I think, however my brother Paul did comment after a long chat about our baby that he is amazed about how real the baby is in our minds. To him, so far, the baby seems very theoretical. He knows we're engaged in the process, but he is so far removed from the whole thing that the idea that any day we might receive our call is hard to imagine. This is understandable. Even for Marc and I, who are steeped in adoption preparations, adoption support groups, and read books on adoption and South Africa, there is still a great deal of "imagining" that has to occur. We realize that our baby and our adoption won't quite hit home for our family until he actually arrives.

That is why the support and encouragement that was expressed by siblings and parents this Christmas was a wonderful surprise. Every time we met with family over Christmas there was another expression of love for our baby and for us.

My sister, Karen, gave me a beautiful shell and beaded necklace from Africa, and her daughter Kendra gave Leah African animals: an elephant, a zebra, and a giraffe. Leah loves them and keeps them on her special shelf above her bed where she puts things only she may touch. Eric and Bonnie gave us a cute little sleeper for our baby adorned with jungle animals.

Paul and Jenn gave us three beaded star Christmas ornaments, made in Durban, South Africa, one for each of our children.

The family even started to name the baby. The Boston Brinks and Opa are rooting for "Nelson", after Nelson Mandela, and have even begun using it to refer to our baby.

Marc's parents give each of their grandchildren their first pair of shoes and then, after the children have out grown them, they take them back. The shoes come out every year again to adorn their Christmas tree. Every Christmas, while we are at Mom and Dad Hoogstad's, the children find their shoes, their special place on the tree. This year, Mom and Dad had extra tree decorations. Mom had made homemade boxes to decorate the tree, each with a gift inside for her children and grandchildren. Inside our box were tiny little shoes, the first for our little boy. We keep them on the baby shelf in his soon to be nursery, waiting till we can put them on his little feet, knowing that they too will eventually find their way on Grandma and Grandpa's tree, their own special place.

Even when we visited Marc's Opa, on our way home from the Hoogstad Christmas we were surpised to see evidence of preparations for our baby. Marc's Opa has a 5x8" portrait of each of his great grandchildren hanging in his living room. There are a lot of them so the pictures take up the entire livingroom wall. The pictures are organized according to family so that Opa can remember who belongs to which parents. In our "row" Sara has the top spot and Leah is below her. At the bottom, beneath Leah's picture, is a screw, the place where our baby's picture will hang as soon as it arrives. Even Opa is getting ready for our little boy.

We feel so blessed to have a family that already loves our baby and is preparing room in their homes, their lives, and in their hearts for our little boy. We love you guys! Thank you.

Christmas Letter 2009

Once again, here is the Christmas letter we sent out this year.

December 16, 2009
Dear Family and Friends,

Six pounds of raisins and currents, ten pounds of flour, and a giant package of yeast are waiting on our kitchen table. Today is the day to bake krentebrood, a Christmas tradition in our house and in the house of my childhood, and in fact, a Christmas tradition from my dad’s childhood when he helped my Opa bake it for the town of De Krim in his Dutch bakery every Christmas. It’s very early in the morning, and Marc and the kids are still sleeping (or finally sleeping in the case of my insomniac of a husband), but in a few hours, the girls will be sitting around the kitchen table sneaking raisins and bits of dough while Marc and I pound and kneed a giant bread mound wondering how to fit all these raisins in. I can taste it already.

Christmas is coming, snow is here, the decorations are up (except for the outside lights, over which Marc and I are in a stalemate about whose turn it is to brave the cold and string them up). My cat sits on the table at my left, sitting on a calendar, a cup of tea is on my right, and a gorgeous orchid beams in front of me, a gift from my mother-in-law which I mostly killed and then gave to my mom to bring back to life. (Thanks Moms). I am typing on my early Christmas present, a brand new laptop, purchased for our much anticipated trip to South Africa.

This is a time of anticipation. Two advent candles are lit each night this week; we sing “Soon and Very Soon” and wait for each Sunday when we get to begin a new candle. Sara begs to cheat and light the Christ Candle now already. She can’t wait for Christmas, “It’ll look so pretty”. Presents are slowly being discovered under the Christmas tree and Sara is buying a goat.

This year our waiting is not confined to the usual “Come Lord Jesus” type of advent. We have two advents at the same time. We are waiting for the referral of our son. Our paperwork is with our South African social worker and the call, theoretically, could come any time. Then three weeks later, Marc and I will be on our way to pick up our baby boy, who at this time may be already born, but is real to us only in our imaginations. Our kids are excited. Leah can’t wait to finally be a big sister. “My baby is in Africa and we have to wait and wait and wait and when he comes, we’ll name him “Baby Jesus’”. (She’s still a little confused about the whole thing, but she’s pretty sure he won’t be born in a manger.) Our journey through adoption has been exactly a year now, and we’re ready for this promised child to finally come.

But life goes on and we try to be patient. Sara is dancing her way through Senior Kindergarten which “is way better than Junior kindergarten because Mrs. Rekman makes them do real work”. She asks great questions! This week, while watching a very old man in the baking aisle of No Frills, she asked “So…how old is God turning this Christmas?” The man grabbed his can of evaporated milk, winked at her and turned the corner. A clever exit for him, but I was left floundering with concepts like the Trinity, time, and everlasting eternity.

We’re loving it that Leah is now able to really play make believe games with Sara. They amuse themselves for long periods of time playing “Mom and Dad”, “Princess” and “Veterinarian”. This year Leah made two very good friends, imaginary frog and imaginary chinchilla who mostly reside in the pocket of her fleecy sweater. It’s very cute, except when she begins to cry because you smushed them with your coffee cup. And when she “lost” them in Walmart…

We’ve been in Sarnia now for five and a half years. Marc’s job as youth pastor here has gone quite well but is a little uncertain right now. One of the three churches in the combined ministry has opted out, leaving the other two churches wondering how to continue with a full time youth pastor. We are definitely assured of a position for the next year, but what happens after that remains to be seen. So once again, we wait, resting in the Lord in good Psalm 33 fashion, uncertain of the future, but confident in His blessings.

Since the school where I was teaching closed this summer, I am happily “stay-at-home-moming it”, collecting EI and supply teaching occasionally. I keep busy with playing a lot of playdough, Little People and other activities which are good for development and generally good for the heart and soul too.

The heart and soul do well in the Christmas season. Our pastor is preaching on the universe of promise, how we all, people, animals, trees, stars, the whole creation wait in expectation for our Saviour, whose first coming we celebrate and second coming we long for. May you all view this present Christmas through the promise of the second and be filled with hope, cheer, and expectation.

Glory to

God

in the

Highest

and on

earth,

peace!

Love,


Marc and Renée,

Sara and Leah

Invictus

Just before Christmas, Marc and I went to see Invictus, a newly released movie about the 1995 Rugby World Cup final in South Africa. The movie stars Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon and is directed by Clint Eastwood. It was excellent. We loved it. Telling the story of a very significant event in South African history, Invictus was a tribute to Nelson Mandela, and a celebration of South Africa. It was a great story.

It was very significant that South Africa hosted the Rugby World Cup in 1995. Nelson Mandela had just become president in 1994 and the country of South Africa was very fragile. Tension was high between the whites and the blacks and people were afraid of violence and terrorism. Also, 1995 was the first time South Africa was allowed to participate in the World Cup in many years; other countries had banned South Africa from World Cup due to its apartheid in sports policy. Since Rugby was a "white" sport and had for so long symbolized dominance and discrimination against blacks, blacks were not at all supportive of South Africa's team, the "springbok" its logo, or its colours, green and gold. In fact, they mostly cheered for the opposing team at games.

Mandela used the Rugby World Cup as an opportunity to unite South Africa. He met with the team captain, Francois Pienaar and encouraged Pienaar to lead the team to win the World Cup. Definitely the underdog team, Pienaar and his managers worked the team hard and used the team as a means to unify the country. They learned the ANC Freedom Song which became the National Anthem of South Africa, participated in Rugby camps in the townships, and became a rally point for the nation. Finally, when the team had, against all odds, made it to the final game, Nelson Mandela greeted the players on the field pre-game, wearing the Green and Gold SpringBok uniform. The stunned crowd stood in silence for several seconds and then began to cheer "Nel-son Nel-son Nel-son!" The white spectators cheered for the black president. The South African team won the game and when Mandela once again entered the field to present the World Cup to Francois Pienaar, they erupted again, "Nel-son, Nel-son, Nel-son!".

Mandela said to Pienaar on the field, "Francois, Thank you for what you have done for our country." Pienaar responded "No, Mr. President, thank you for what you have done."

www.scrub.com/PICTURES/CMS/00/42.jpg

The movie was a tribute to Neslon Mandela. It showed his dedication, his wisdom, his leadership and his unbelievable gift for reconciliation. It also was a celebration of Rugby and of South Africa. For me it was interesting to see people and places that I had read about on the screen and I kept on making comments to Marc about the significance of a particular building or event.

The 1995 Rugby World Cup effectively united the nation -- all people regardless of race or social status celebrated the event, and celebrated South Africa. The movie ends on that high note. In the stadium, the streets, the bars, everywhere, whites and blacks are hugging and celebrating their country. It presents a utopic, perfect picture of South Africa. A "they all lived happily ever after" feel. We know that this is not true, there is still incredible suffering, poverty and injustices in South Africa, the movie did not hint at any of this. Perhaps it should have. But it is true that the prediction of violence after the 1994 elections did not come true and a white counter-revolution did not occur. Mandela achieved his number one goal of reconciling whites to black majority. That is something to celebrate.