Zulu cooking!

I have cooked my first traditional Zulu dish! Last week we had a couple of Sarnian families who are also adopting internationally over to share cuisine, and adoption stories. We have gathered informally and formally several times, for coffee, for a barbeque this past summer, and last week at our house.

Last week, the catch was that everyone had to bring an appetizer from the country from which they were adopting. We ate well! We had fried plantains and sausage from St. Vincent, spring rolls from the Philippines, a "football" cake in celebration of the World Cup in South Africa, (someone had a hard time finding a good recipe), and the Pumpkin Fritters which I prepared. Although I forgot to take pictures of the food, I pulled this picture from the net.

Here is the recipe (carrots can be substituted for pumpkins)

2 cups canned pumpkin 1 cup flour
1 large egg 1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt 1 tbsp. sugar
1/4 cup cooking oil for frying
1/4 cup mix of cinnamon and sugar (1/4 cup white sugar with 2 tbsp. cinnamon)

Mix first 6 ingredients in a bowl. Heat half the oil in frying pan. Drop heaping tablespoons of batter into oil once hot. You can flatten them slightly with a spoon.

Fry one side (approx. 4 minutes) and turn over to fry other side. Add fresh oil as needed. Immediately after removing from fry pan, roll in cinnamon and sugar mixture. Makes approximately 12 fritters.

We had a good evening together. It was really great to hear about other people's adoption journeys. To hear about their process, their reactions to the different courses we've all taken, to hear about ideas for becoming more of a trans-racial family, and to simply share with each other the joys and struggles of adoption. We've begun trading books on adoption and are hoping that over the next little while we can grow to be a good support for each other during and after our adoption.

Our gathering this summer was with children at one of the families houses. It was a gorgeous day and everyone had a great time. Our hosts were, Steve and Daphne, with the great backyard!

Leah, practising to be a big sister! She's not sure she's up for it.

Pastor Steve entertained the kids with a bird and lots of games!

Time for a rest!

Christmas gifts

One of the purposes of this blog is to communicate with our family and friends about our adoption process. It is a long and complicated process and we wanted to help our family be a part of it so that they too can already be thinking and dreaming about our baby.

This has had some degree of success I think, however my brother Paul did comment after a long chat about our baby that he is amazed about how real the baby is in our minds. To him, so far, the baby seems very theoretical. He knows we're engaged in the process, but he is so far removed from the whole thing that the idea that any day we might receive our call is hard to imagine. This is understandable. Even for Marc and I, who are steeped in adoption preparations, adoption support groups, and read books on adoption and South Africa, there is still a great deal of "imagining" that has to occur. We realize that our baby and our adoption won't quite hit home for our family until he actually arrives.

That is why the support and encouragement that was expressed by siblings and parents this Christmas was a wonderful surprise. Every time we met with family over Christmas there was another expression of love for our baby and for us.

My sister, Karen, gave me a beautiful shell and beaded necklace from Africa, and her daughter Kendra gave Leah African animals: an elephant, a zebra, and a giraffe. Leah loves them and keeps them on her special shelf above her bed where she puts things only she may touch. Eric and Bonnie gave us a cute little sleeper for our baby adorned with jungle animals.

Paul and Jenn gave us three beaded star Christmas ornaments, made in Durban, South Africa, one for each of our children.

The family even started to name the baby. The Boston Brinks and Opa are rooting for "Nelson", after Nelson Mandela, and have even begun using it to refer to our baby.

Marc's parents give each of their grandchildren their first pair of shoes and then, after the children have out grown them, they take them back. The shoes come out every year again to adorn their Christmas tree. Every Christmas, while we are at Mom and Dad Hoogstad's, the children find their shoes, their special place on the tree. This year, Mom and Dad had extra tree decorations. Mom had made homemade boxes to decorate the tree, each with a gift inside for her children and grandchildren. Inside our box were tiny little shoes, the first for our little boy. We keep them on the baby shelf in his soon to be nursery, waiting till we can put them on his little feet, knowing that they too will eventually find their way on Grandma and Grandpa's tree, their own special place.

Even when we visited Marc's Opa, on our way home from the Hoogstad Christmas we were surpised to see evidence of preparations for our baby. Marc's Opa has a 5x8" portrait of each of his great grandchildren hanging in his living room. There are a lot of them so the pictures take up the entire livingroom wall. The pictures are organized according to family so that Opa can remember who belongs to which parents. In our "row" Sara has the top spot and Leah is below her. At the bottom, beneath Leah's picture, is a screw, the place where our baby's picture will hang as soon as it arrives. Even Opa is getting ready for our little boy.

We feel so blessed to have a family that already loves our baby and is preparing room in their homes, their lives, and in their hearts for our little boy. We love you guys! Thank you.

Christmas Letter 2009

Once again, here is the Christmas letter we sent out this year.

December 16, 2009
Dear Family and Friends,

Six pounds of raisins and currents, ten pounds of flour, and a giant package of yeast are waiting on our kitchen table. Today is the day to bake krentebrood, a Christmas tradition in our house and in the house of my childhood, and in fact, a Christmas tradition from my dad’s childhood when he helped my Opa bake it for the town of De Krim in his Dutch bakery every Christmas. It’s very early in the morning, and Marc and the kids are still sleeping (or finally sleeping in the case of my insomniac of a husband), but in a few hours, the girls will be sitting around the kitchen table sneaking raisins and bits of dough while Marc and I pound and kneed a giant bread mound wondering how to fit all these raisins in. I can taste it already.

Christmas is coming, snow is here, the decorations are up (except for the outside lights, over which Marc and I are in a stalemate about whose turn it is to brave the cold and string them up). My cat sits on the table at my left, sitting on a calendar, a cup of tea is on my right, and a gorgeous orchid beams in front of me, a gift from my mother-in-law which I mostly killed and then gave to my mom to bring back to life. (Thanks Moms). I am typing on my early Christmas present, a brand new laptop, purchased for our much anticipated trip to South Africa.

This is a time of anticipation. Two advent candles are lit each night this week; we sing “Soon and Very Soon” and wait for each Sunday when we get to begin a new candle. Sara begs to cheat and light the Christ Candle now already. She can’t wait for Christmas, “It’ll look so pretty”. Presents are slowly being discovered under the Christmas tree and Sara is buying a goat.

This year our waiting is not confined to the usual “Come Lord Jesus” type of advent. We have two advents at the same time. We are waiting for the referral of our son. Our paperwork is with our South African social worker and the call, theoretically, could come any time. Then three weeks later, Marc and I will be on our way to pick up our baby boy, who at this time may be already born, but is real to us only in our imaginations. Our kids are excited. Leah can’t wait to finally be a big sister. “My baby is in Africa and we have to wait and wait and wait and when he comes, we’ll name him “Baby Jesus’”. (She’s still a little confused about the whole thing, but she’s pretty sure he won’t be born in a manger.) Our journey through adoption has been exactly a year now, and we’re ready for this promised child to finally come.

But life goes on and we try to be patient. Sara is dancing her way through Senior Kindergarten which “is way better than Junior kindergarten because Mrs. Rekman makes them do real work”. She asks great questions! This week, while watching a very old man in the baking aisle of No Frills, she asked “So…how old is God turning this Christmas?” The man grabbed his can of evaporated milk, winked at her and turned the corner. A clever exit for him, but I was left floundering with concepts like the Trinity, time, and everlasting eternity.

We’re loving it that Leah is now able to really play make believe games with Sara. They amuse themselves for long periods of time playing “Mom and Dad”, “Princess” and “Veterinarian”. This year Leah made two very good friends, imaginary frog and imaginary chinchilla who mostly reside in the pocket of her fleecy sweater. It’s very cute, except when she begins to cry because you smushed them with your coffee cup. And when she “lost” them in Walmart…

We’ve been in Sarnia now for five and a half years. Marc’s job as youth pastor here has gone quite well but is a little uncertain right now. One of the three churches in the combined ministry has opted out, leaving the other two churches wondering how to continue with a full time youth pastor. We are definitely assured of a position for the next year, but what happens after that remains to be seen. So once again, we wait, resting in the Lord in good Psalm 33 fashion, uncertain of the future, but confident in His blessings.

Since the school where I was teaching closed this summer, I am happily “stay-at-home-moming it”, collecting EI and supply teaching occasionally. I keep busy with playing a lot of playdough, Little People and other activities which are good for development and generally good for the heart and soul too.

The heart and soul do well in the Christmas season. Our pastor is preaching on the universe of promise, how we all, people, animals, trees, stars, the whole creation wait in expectation for our Saviour, whose first coming we celebrate and second coming we long for. May you all view this present Christmas through the promise of the second and be filled with hope, cheer, and expectation.

Glory to

God

in the

Highest

and on

earth,

peace!

Love,


Marc and Renée,

Sara and Leah

Invictus

Just before Christmas, Marc and I went to see Invictus, a newly released movie about the 1995 Rugby World Cup final in South Africa. The movie stars Morgan Freeman and Matt Damon and is directed by Clint Eastwood. It was excellent. We loved it. Telling the story of a very significant event in South African history, Invictus was a tribute to Nelson Mandela, and a celebration of South Africa. It was a great story.

It was very significant that South Africa hosted the Rugby World Cup in 1995. Nelson Mandela had just become president in 1994 and the country of South Africa was very fragile. Tension was high between the whites and the blacks and people were afraid of violence and terrorism. Also, 1995 was the first time South Africa was allowed to participate in the World Cup in many years; other countries had banned South Africa from World Cup due to its apartheid in sports policy. Since Rugby was a "white" sport and had for so long symbolized dominance and discrimination against blacks, blacks were not at all supportive of South Africa's team, the "springbok" its logo, or its colours, green and gold. In fact, they mostly cheered for the opposing team at games.

Mandela used the Rugby World Cup as an opportunity to unite South Africa. He met with the team captain, Francois Pienaar and encouraged Pienaar to lead the team to win the World Cup. Definitely the underdog team, Pienaar and his managers worked the team hard and used the team as a means to unify the country. They learned the ANC Freedom Song which became the National Anthem of South Africa, participated in Rugby camps in the townships, and became a rally point for the nation. Finally, when the team had, against all odds, made it to the final game, Nelson Mandela greeted the players on the field pre-game, wearing the Green and Gold SpringBok uniform. The stunned crowd stood in silence for several seconds and then began to cheer "Nel-son Nel-son Nel-son!" The white spectators cheered for the black president. The South African team won the game and when Mandela once again entered the field to present the World Cup to Francois Pienaar, they erupted again, "Nel-son, Nel-son, Nel-son!".

Mandela said to Pienaar on the field, "Francois, Thank you for what you have done for our country." Pienaar responded "No, Mr. President, thank you for what you have done."

www.scrub.com/PICTURES/CMS/00/42.jpg

The movie was a tribute to Neslon Mandela. It showed his dedication, his wisdom, his leadership and his unbelievable gift for reconciliation. It also was a celebration of Rugby and of South Africa. For me it was interesting to see people and places that I had read about on the screen and I kept on making comments to Marc about the significance of a particular building or event.

The 1995 Rugby World Cup effectively united the nation -- all people regardless of race or social status celebrated the event, and celebrated South Africa. The movie ends on that high note. In the stadium, the streets, the bars, everywhere, whites and blacks are hugging and celebrating their country. It presents a utopic, perfect picture of South Africa. A "they all lived happily ever after" feel. We know that this is not true, there is still incredible suffering, poverty and injustices in South Africa, the movie did not hint at any of this. Perhaps it should have. But it is true that the prediction of violence after the 1994 elections did not come true and a white counter-revolution did not occur. Mandela achieved his number one goal of reconciling whites to black majority. That is something to celebrate.

Maranatha, Christ Come Quickly!

It's almost as if our anxiety about waiting hit a plateau once we received our approval from the ministry. Our file has been in South Africa for over a month and although it occasionally "flits" across our minds -- sometimes with an unexpected phone call (could that be our Social worker with our referral), most of the time we are relaxed about waiting. We know Robyn, our South African social worker, is on Christmas holidays and that she will have a backlog once she resumes her work in January so we know we won't hear anytime soon. It has been good to be busy with other activities.

We have been busy preparing for Christmas celebrations -- we've baked krentebrood, a family tradition passed down from my Opa who was a baker in Holland, we've also baked speculaas and made chocolate bark with a friend. We've bought and wrapped presents, and each night we light an advent candle with our girls and read a different Bible passage leading up to Christ's birth. Our anticipation for the arrival of our new baby is mirrored in the wait for Christ's birthday and indeed Christ's return.

When I read and reflect on all the suffering of this world, the groaning of creation, this week amplified by the climate change summit in Copenhagen, Denmark, the suffering in Afghanistan, Iraq, most of Africa, Honduras, and even the total depravity that I see in my children, so young and "innocent" until they are screaming at each other over who gets which coloured cup at snack time. We need a Saviour. I need a Saviour.

Yesterday I finally finished reading "The New History of South Africa". It was a challenging read, especially since I knew very little about South Africa when I began (I even drew a map of the different provinces and major cities to help me out). It was also challenging in other ways. So much suffering was endured throughout the centuries by so many people. "Some of the cruellest episodes in South African history -- the extermination of the San, the subjugation of the Xhosa and their national suicide, the suffering of migrant workers on the mines and the deaths of women and children in concentration camps during the South African War. During the 1930s the slums in the South African cities were among the worst in the world. Apartheid destroyed many tight communities and closed off career chances." And although the peoples of South Africa are "joining forces to attempt, against considerable odds, to forge a new nation from the bottom up...and are beginning to sing new songs and tell different stories in a fresh identification with their land, people and culture" there is still incredible suffering and inequality and progress is painfully slow (p, 437). What South Africa really needs, and Canada too, and the whole of creation, is the return of Christ. When all things will be made new and there will be no more crying or pain...Maranatha, Christ come quickly.

We're Approved!

Yesterday was a good day! We received notice at we have been approved to adopt a baby boy from South Africa! And here it is; the paper we've all been waiting for:
This piece of paper is the end of a long six month wait to be approved to adopt a baby. It is the result of the home-study, police checks, PRIDE training process that we were busy with at the beginning of this year. We are so happy that it is finally here. Although it is only one step closer, it is a pretty big step. Mission of Tears, our agency, mailed our dossier to South Africa yesterday as well which was also great news. Sometimes they don't send the dossiers right away because the South African social worker has enough waiting families already. We were hoping that our file could go immediately but were preparing for the worst. So...once our file is in South Africa, we could get a referral anytime.

We do know, however, that our social worker is taking time off around Christmas so we aren't expecting anything until February at the earliest, but it could be a long wait yet. Some people with Mission of Tears have been waiting for a year. Still, it's nice to be waiting on the right side of the ocean. At least our file is (or will be very soon) in Africa.

Since we heard three weeks ago that the ministry was working on our file, the wait has been excruciating. Every time we checked email or phone messages we were anticipating the news. Finally, after reading discouraging posts in our "Families adopting from South Africa" chat group about the long wait times, we decided to do something to make our adoption seem more real. We began searching for crib bedding. And then we bought some!


We purchased it online from the U.S. through ebay, so we had it shipped to my brother Paul's family in Boston. They will bring it to us at Christmas -- it'll be a nice Christmas present.

Once we are matched with a child, we will only have three weeks before we travel to South Africa. Our agency recommends that once our dossier is in South Africa we begin to prepare for the baby. We are not planning to set up the baby room until we receive the referral, but it is exciting to start planning and preparing.

Our kids are started to get excited about the baby. Leah speaks often about her baby brother in South Africa who is "littler" than her. When Sara heard that we were approved she announced that we needed to go out for supper to celebrate. And so we did. Praise God for small steps to Africa!

Making Friends...

We belong to an online group of families who have or are adoption from South Africa. It includes people from all over Ontario, and more recently from the Maritimes and Saskatchewan who have or are adoptiong from South Africa through Mission of Tears, our adoption agency. The South African program is only a few years old, so all families adoptions have been recent and all the children are about five and under.

Everyday when we check our email there are six or seven (often more) messages from families undergoing the same process as us. There are book clubs relating to adoption or South Africa, birthday reminders, information about South African films or news events, discussions about citizenship processes, school issues, medical information, as well as pictures of united families and children who have recently been adopted. It is an excellent resource and although we don't post often, we follow the discussions regularly.

The group also gathers socially throughout the year. Sometimes as a whole, but usually according to regions. We have been getting to know some of the families in the London area and attended a gathering last month.

The gathering was relaxed and casual with lots of good food. My parents came along which was nice because Marc had to work. It was good to meet some other waiting families and to meet people who had already adopted. Some of the families knew each other quite well and their children were friends -- it was neat to see chidren who were together in the baby house in South Africa continue a relationship here in Canada.


The organizers brought some activities for children, a parachute, bubbles, colouring and toys. Sara and Leah quickly made friends and enjoyed the event.

One of the highlights of the day was the performance of an African storyteller. Originally from Ghana, she now lives in Guelph and has made a career of performing traditional stories and songs from many different African countries. Her daughter accompanied her on the djembe and together they entertained all of us (event the babies were riveted).


Sara and Leah were entranced. They loved the repetition throughout the stories and the story teller was excellent at including her audience in the story telling. Sara even now remembers the songs and sings them easily.


Afterwards she stayed for refreshments and conversation.


Another neat part of the day was a Zulu class. A Zulu speaking family from Zimbabwe treated us to a mini lesson. They helped adoptive parents say their children's South African names properly and gave the meanings of the names. They also attempted to teach us how to click. The Zulu language has many different clicking sounds. It is amazing to hear. They tried to teach us how to do the "X" click as in the word "Xhosa". But I must admit we were hopeless.

It was great to finally put some faces to the friends we were making online and to glean advice about our trip to South Africa. It was encouraging to meet families who had already adopted and it made our adoption plan seem more real.